Pig Candy

The power of the pig

I will make this brief. We all have places to go and people to see.

If you want to bribe someone to do something unpleasant that they would ordinarily refuse to do, you just need to say two words. Pig Candy. If you promise to feed people Pig Candy they will do any odious job. Pig Candy is bacon topped with brown sugar and baked. I offered to make it for Bacon Wednesday, not because I had to bribe Betsy to unload a truck full of heavy boxes from a donor because that is part of her job and she will do it no matter what. No, I made it to bribe Noah, my 20-year-old son, who does not have to unload heavy boxes. I used to order the boy around and was moderately successful at it. But I am losing my grip in this department.

So I offered Pig Candy. His eyes lit up and he immediately snapped to attention. I lured him to the truck at the dock door with a slice of thick-cut bacon loaded with caramelized brown sugar and he just hopped right onto the truck bed and started shoveling boxes.

So here’s how you make it. Take any bacon you like and lay it out on a cookie sheet covered with foil. I like thick-cut bacon. Spread a generous amount of brown sugar on each slice. It doesn’t matter if its light or dark brown sugar. Bake it at 400 degrees until the bacon is crisp. Here’s a very important tip. Don’t drain it on paper towels. It will stick. Use some more foil.

I expect Pig Candy to be used more frequently in workplace development now that you know its powers. In fact, I think I’ll add this to the employee manual tomorrow.

Pig Candy

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