As you all know, the Chicks are almost back in our remodeled offices with the sad exception of phone and internet service (don’t even get me started), and that necessitated a trip to the Office Max for a whole new set of office supplies. Let me just say this about three women shopping for office supplies. There are some things that will require no debate. Copy paper is copy paper. Trash bags are trash bags. But there are some things that can threaten the tranquility of our small but opinionated staff.

Scissors. I pick out a package with three pairs of scissors. “Are they pretty?” asks Betsy. Pretty? How do you make scissors pretty? “They have red handles,” I respond. I put them in the basket. Betsy goes for a paper cutter. “How often do you use a paper cutter?” asks Kim, clearly thinking this is a wasteful expenditure. I cannot immediately think of a time when we will need a paper cutter, but we had one before and I remember using it on occasion. “You never know when you will need a paper cutter, but you will,” I counter. Kim is not emotionally invested in the paper cutter and moves on to the staplers, which attract more of her attention.

We move through the Office Max at the speed of three snails climbing up a slick wall. Trash cans, plastic or mesh? File folders, colored or not? Hanging files, legal or regular? These are the decisions that keep you awake at night.

Finally, we are almost done. Except Betsy doesn’t like any of the organizing trays that Office Max offers. She wants to go to Target. I fear that if I accompany her I will start to second think the organizing tray I have already selected. I can’t take that kind of mental anguish. Kim and I helpfully offer to take our Office Max purchases back to CRC and allow Betsy all the time in the world to peruse the organizing trays at Target. I think Betsy was secretly happy with that decision.

Yesterday, Betsy and I were at CRC and I inspected her selection. I was expecting something in hot pink with polka dots. It was just black plastic. I was slightly disappointed.

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